the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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