3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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