there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize