There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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