$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
