I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
