my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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