we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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