i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
