I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
