Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
