This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
