Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
