Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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