So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
