She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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