I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
