We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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