Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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