Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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