let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
