there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
