I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
