I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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