I hate your face
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
