i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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