If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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