so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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