can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
why is half of my head shaved?
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