I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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