I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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