Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So many bounce houses so little time
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
