you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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