Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
