It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
