oh god the rape fog is back!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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