Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
