when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
