So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
we should paint friendship bongs
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
