Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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