We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize