i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
