Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize