I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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