Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You need a sexual gate keeper
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
