also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize