Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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(541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc

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(562): View more from California

he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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(562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd

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(863): View more from Florida

I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

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(863): I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy http://tfl.nu/eb50

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(847): View more from Illinois

If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.

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(847): If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't. http://tfl.nu/9mwz

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(847): View more from Illinois

i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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(847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b

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(860): View more from Connecticut

it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once

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(860): it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once http://tfl.nu/6yr8

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(224): View more from Illinois

I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.

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(224): I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week. http://tfl.nu/ba7c

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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(781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2

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(386): View more from Florida

I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.

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(386): I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal. http://tfl.nu/nrun

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.

(704): View more from North Carolina

Dude, you are the most awesome.

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(704): She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket. (1-704): I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court. (704): Dude, you are the most awesome. http://tfl.nu/z7ku

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

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(610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though

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(601): Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though http://tfl.nu/7jbg

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!

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(413): Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?! http://tfl.nu/jygw

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(407): View more from Florida

You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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(407): You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways" http://tfl.nu/gs8x

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