from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.