Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is