I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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