I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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