I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
