she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
