lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
