# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
