i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
