i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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