She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
