your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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