so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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