And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
