Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
