youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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