what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
