i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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