I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
