This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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